The Fear

Fear.

Life is full of it. 

I've had a particular fear for a while.

 I've tackled with it endlessly.

Eventually...

 I felt I had to face it!

But even in the face of it, I wasn't sure what to do, how to feel, how to face it.

At first, I thought I must resist this feeling of fear, expel it from my body in order to get over it. 

It didn't work. 

The fear only grew.

NO.

So I let it take over and permeate every sense in my body. 

I became the fear.

 I was the fear. 

Through its internalisation, I realised that all I had to fear was myself.

After a while, I began to feel quite serene...relaxed. 

I went and did what I knew I felt I had to. And actually... really wanted to do. And now, while writing this... I'm crying. Not crying for fear... but crying for joy. 

I feel relieved. 

Looking fear in the eye is not to resist its emotion, but to permit it. At least, it was for me. Ride that roller coaster, ride through the emotion in order to come to the ultimate next. For me, it is joy. 

This is a sunny moment.

And now I'm grinning like a Cheshire cat. 

Put simply...

I LOVE MY GRANDMA...

 for many reasons but here are a good bunch.

Her:

Kindness to everyone

Determination in everything!!!

Forgetfullness in some things

Interest in all!

Love of aerobics!

Love of golf!!!

Love of life!

Treasure hunts in the garden

Yummy christmas Puddings

Funny Stories

Childhood stories

Yummy lemon cakes

Colourful knits 

 Lots of bubble baths and,

Scented Candles

Love of F.R.I.E.N.D.S (the only American TV programme she will)

Her African house display from Grandpa's visit to Kenya

Her postcards

Her gifts

Her joy

Her love

I also love her...

Internet problems 

and wobbly feet. 

Happy 86th Birthday Grandma!

Thank you for lots of sunny moments! 

xxxxxxx

We Will Rock You

I love theatre and I love music and "We Will Rock You", the musical by Queen and Ben Elton provided a perfect combo!

On 31st December 2010, we went to see the musical theatre show at the Palace theatre, Manchester. It put us in the perfect mood before the New Years Eve festivities began:

This was my first 'musical theatre'. When I'm older (and can afford it), I hope I can go and see more!

I also wish I could sing.

Grazi Mille!

In April, I went to Liguria in Northern Italy. It was INCREDIBLE! We went on a university trip to study some frescoes (or frisky frescoes as we called them!). We started out in a small town called Varese in the Val di Vara. It was BEAUTIFUL! The people were so friendly, the bakery food was delish, and the frescoes were frisky!

                        Jupiter with two of his many lovers, one of which is the swan!
                        (Apparently this one was a little ruined by a fresco restorer though :$)

I loved all the little nooks and crannies of the town, the alleyways and cobbled streets, the medieval bridge over the river, and the small bars, shops and cafes found in hidden places. It felt like we had taken one big step back in time.

Later in the week, we made a leap to the big city of Genoa with its humongous cathedral and Palazzi to view a few more frisky frescoes and to visit the minister of culture in the Museo di Palazzo Reale. Again, Genoa was BEAUTIFUL and so culturally rich. We just didn't have enough time to explore!

GRAZI MILLE for such an experience! I hope I can go back one day!

P.S I love how the Italians say a THOUSAND thank you's!

Fuzzy foot friends

After the last few weeks of parties, graduation balls and such related events; it feels so good to spend the day in my PJs and a pair of comfy slippers! Today, I did just that...meet my fuzzy foot friends:

                      I have a pair just like these...but admittedly, mine are a lot dirtier!

I reached for the moon

I'm jumping for joy because today is a really sunny day!

Why? Because I reached for the moon and this time, I landed there....WHAAT?! It just goes to show hard work really does pay off.

"Never never never give up"

-Winston Churchill

The wHOLE

I am seen but not seen,

I am heard but not understood.

A shadow within the sunlight.

Forever wavering within the wind, encircling the grounded wHOLE.

Budding without beginning,

Wilting without ending.

Spheres of existence, looping and surrounding,

That shade of my colour...hidden,

Hidden within the shadow, hidden within the wHOLE that darkens my existence.

Do I open my leaves and enter? I know I should. 

TURKEY

I had an AMAZING time in Turkey over the last weeks! Although it rained and it poured, Mother Nature didn't manage to wipe the smiles off our faces! We walked, we talked, we drank and BOY, did we EAT! I was so happy to be away, soaking up the sounds, smells and TASTES of a place faraway from our previously monotonous lives in the university library. What a getaway! Thanks girls! X

My new found love...TURKISH DELIGHT