New blog post

On a low note, it looks like my plans to blog more often have thus far, largely failed. It's been almost a whole month since my last post....whoops! 

On a high note, my breakfast looked so pretty this morning! 

(And this is a new blog post :D )

p.s I'm on a new health kick, I wonder how long this will last...

My Two Front Teeth

This morning I had a missing front tooth!

Huh?

Earlier this year, I had an accident and basically knocked my tooth out. 

Oh!

I've waited for 4 whole months to get it fixed! Yes... all I've wanted is my two front teeth. Today, I finally got them! (And its not even Christmas...I couldn't resist!)

I'm...

(One of my favourite blogs did this exercise and I thought it was pretty cool so I decided to do one too):

I'm weird because...

Sometimes, I like to eat curry for breakfast (especially if it's last nights takeaway!)

I like to keep my toothbrush and other toiletries in the bedroom, not in the bathroom.

(I think I picked up this habit at University where we had a communal bathroom for 16 people and it just wasn't possible or even hygienic to share.)

I hate mess but my bedroom is never tidy...it's an organised mess ;).  

I get up at 04:30am every Friday to hang with lots of "adults" (mostly 20-30 years my senior) at a freezing ice arena. I love "adults". 

I put adults in inverted commas because technically I'm one too. Or so they tell me...

I've decided I'm going to start waking up earlier than I have to every single day...or at least every week day. 

I like to leave the shop labels in my clothes even though I know I'm NOT going to return them. 

I used to pretend I was allergic to ice cream at Primary School because I didn't like it. Now that I like it, I've miraculously recovered from my allergy and I eat it all the time...especially with strawberries yum!

I eat mint sauce with steak even though I know it's supposed to go with lamb. 

I lost one of my two front teeth in an accident earlier this year. I have a denture that I can use whilst waiting for a more permanent replacement but I'd rather not wear it and go around toothless instead. Comfort over beauty...most of the time ;). 

I eat honey with almost everything; my toast, my cereal, my yoghurt, my meat, my vege and with my latest discovery...cheese!

I am a massive hoarder and don't like to throw ANYTHING away! Even last month's "display in your car" day parking tickets. 

I like to check, double-check and sometimes even triple check even though I know I've already checked. 

I like to dance around my bedroom like crazy every night. 

And just before I go to sleep, I like to lay my pillows around my body instead of under my head. 

I'm a bad friend because...

I'm not the best at keeping in touch and I too often lose contact with those I hold dear. 

I wait for my friends to organise a get together rather than organising one myself. 

I sometimes take on my friend's problems as my own and I become sympathetic to the point that I lose sight of the bigger picture. 

I'm a good friend because...

I can offer a listening and understanding ear. 

I'm extremely loyal. 

I want my friends to be happy and successful. 

I'm always up for fun and spontaneity...I love an adventure!

I'm sad because...

My family and parents are split. Neither side will have contact with the other. My brother and I provide the only link. 

My Uncle had a heart attack last year and he is still in a comatose state. My Auntie goes to see him every day in hopes that he'll reach back out to her. But I'm worried that he'll never come back and it makes me sad. 

I know life can be difficult and there are always going to be hard choices to make. 

I think too much and my head can get a little crowded. 

I get bogged down and confused by "my future". I need direction and goals but I also need to learn to live more presently. 

I struggle with 'who I am' and 'what I want'. 

I'm happy because...

I have a fun, challenging and stimulating hobby in ice-skating. It has opened up a whole new world to me. 

I'm always learning and I feel like I've learnt a lot the past two years. 

I have a family...though broken, I still have one. 

I'm excited because...

I'm going to see Hot Ice Show in Blackpool on Friday :D 

(It was amazing, I wrote this last week)

I recently quit my job and I have some work experience lined up in a potential career field I'd like to pursue.

I've hired a Life Coach. 

I'm ready to learn more. 

Life and the unknown...

Thank you for reading. I'm Rachael and I ate last night's curry for breakfast this morning!

Thoughts of my last day...

In many ways, it seemed like any other day at work. Nothings changed, work’s the same.  I started in reception with the same old morning conversation, continued to sit at the same old desk, drank from the same old mug, made the same old emails and inputted the same old same old…

But today was different. Today was my last day. Today, everything that I’ve learnt and all the friendships that I’ve made culminated into an overpowering sense of gratitude, love and a sense of life beyond the mundane.

But today is not such a sad goodbye to all those wonderful things that my decision for leaving has gifted me the clearer sight of. Today is an acceptance of those things, a time to take them, learn from them and move on.

Today is a goodbye to all things familiar, safe and comfortable.

But today is also a great big hello to the unknown, change and continued growth.

Hello big world! I’m glad I poked my head out from under the duvet to see you again!

An Early Bird

There’s something so peaceful, quiet and still about the early morning. Don’t you think?  When the rest of the world is still asleep and its gears not yet set in motion.

This morning, I saw the sky turn from dark to light and I could hear the birds beginning to sing and chatter.

I’ve never really been an early bird myself before but I’ve decided that I’m going to make a big attempt to wake up earlier every day.

Today is my second and I wrote this at 6:00am.

Free Fallin

Free Fallin

Max Milner

I just love this and felt like posting it. Enjoy! 

September

It’s September, a new month, a new autumn and a new start.

For me, September is so concurrent with the chance to start over…like the beginning of the new school year: a time to reorganise and re-think my direction in life.

This year, I have begun September by firstly, hiring a Life Coach. YES, a coach for my life…we have coaches for everything else don’t we? And secondly, by taking a risky walk on the wild side by quitting my boring, non-directional job for 2 weeks of unpaid work experience in something that I may actually want to pursue. After that, who knows?

Hold your breath, I’m taking a plunge!

Did you know September’s birthstone is the Sapphire? It’s meaning is clear thinking. Some people may think I’m crazy but I feel like I’m unearthing myself to see things more clearly than ever. 

Sea of liberty.

I've found these last few weeks particularly hard. "It's been one of those weeks" turned into "It's been one of those months".... and I've gotten particularly down. I'm still toothless from an accident I had on my trip to Peru and I'm still on the job hunt, all the while things have been heating up at home. However, this last weekend, some old school friends and I took a trip away to the beach:

I think this weekend away has been just what I needed...now lets get back on track! 

"The boisterous sea of liberty is never without a wave" Thomas Jefferson.

22

Today, I turned 22. But I'm going to call it my second 21st. That way, I will remain forever young and get to celebrate twice as hard as the big 2-1.

Thanks to everyone for making my day...just that.

African Beats

  Just booked to see The Lion King, this Christmas. And I've been dancing around to this all evening. 

Loving those African Beats. . 

Waves Of Thought.

This is all I want right now. A setting sun, the sand between my toes and the sounds of a quiet guitar melody accompanying the almost silent roll of crashing waves. Instead, I remain stuck in a stuffy, dull office room banging out form after form. They say the grass is always greener....but I think it's time to do something. 

When the tide is right, waves of thought can turn into waves of action, and I intend on making my move.  

Let It Go.

This is what I love about ice skating...the freedom and emotion you feel as you fly about the ice. For me, the music and dance of this piece beyond delivers this sentiment. 

Dental Dreams.

Just getting used to my missing tooth. I just knew all those dreams about my teeth falling out meant something. Time to eat an apple. 

Tooth Trouble.

"My dentist once told me that letting go is like pulling a tooth. When it was pulled out, you're relieved, but how many times does your tongue run itself over the spot where the tooth once was? Probably a hundred times a day. Just because it was not hurting you doesn't mean you did not notice it. It leaves a gap and sometimes you see yourself missing it terribly. It's going to take a while, but it takes time. Should you have kept the tooth? No, because it was causing you so much pain. Therefore, move on, and let go."

As I lost my tooth last thursday, this analogy resonates with me more than ever. I must move on tooth.. 

Paths Alight.

As your slender fingers slid delicately between mine, the peace and tranquility of the quietly feathering trees and the gentle rippling of the luminous green lake overwhelmed my senses and brought a certain presence in time and a warming light to my mind that our creaking and somewhat undulating paths had finally crossed by.

Home SWEET home.

Home SWEET home (well, 3 weeks ago..a lot has happened!) after an incredible 3 week journey through Peru!

Say....Piscooo Souuurr!

Peru!

Finally, I did it!!

I booked a trip to Peru!

Who knows what lies behind, within, and through those mountains?

I'm so excited!!

A lonesome deer

A lone deer I feel, 

A lonesome dear I'll be, 

standing by this tree, 

whose roots are anchored, 

but leaves are spreading,

so hope for my dear you'll be. 

Sometimes I think my desire to travel is just a desire to escape this one life. But, I have a desire to live a million lives. 

The heart of my being

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. 
Mark Twain

I find that this quote chimes so truly with the heart of my being. Not because I live so fastly by it, but because I strive so much to live as if I did.

I see it all around me…to live, you must live life to its fullest, have confidence in yourself, explore, dream, discover. It’s a very important thing…the goals of our existence. The goal of our being… the heart of my being. But under my mask…my confidence is dashed and my heart is crumbling. I want to share it with you…I wish I could share it with you all. But these walls of self-doubt and anxiety chain me to a pot-holed surface of un-lived dreams and desires. Instead, I let the frivolities of life scrape at the surface of my deeply entombed existence.

So you say, one must push the boat out? Yes I see… and for me, this is a question of living or dying. Surely, the answer is easy. To live, or to die. Which would you choose? But, I feel that achieving this answer is the most difficult part. It’s all the working out…that’s where the majority of the marks lie for this test. 

So I know that I must continue to work at this…the heart of my being…so that one day I may be even further from my anchored harbour and closer to my sails of discovery.  

To live truly, now that is a daring adventure.