Looking back

Oh, how I wish I posted here more often.

 I love to read back on all these blog posts and see how my life has unfolded in the last couple of years. It's now over 2 years since I graduated from University and wrote my first blog post....2 YEARS!!! I feel old. 

 And as I get older and see the time clock ticking, I often begin to feel afraid that I'm not going to do anything with my life. 

 Sometimes, I get so stuck on what's next that I forget to remember, or even realise, everything that I have already achieved!

This past year has actually been one of the most exciting years of my life!

Here's a quick run down of my personal highlights :) :

 recovered from an accident in Peru and gained a shiny new tooth :)

hired a life coach

  quit my boring office job

 taught special needs kids

took a lead role in a farcical comedy stage play

competed in the British Adult Figure Skating Championships

  travelled to Madeira, Abu Dhabi and New York.

 Aaand after working on acheiving all of this with my coach,  I decided to see if I could also go make a difference for others by starting a life coach training program too!! This last week, I got hired by my first two paying clients!! Ahhh ......life... is.... good. 

Take a look back on the past year and see what achievements you've already made. It'll make you feel good. I promise! 

LOVE what you do.

Don’t aim for success if you want it; just 

do what you love and believe in, and it 

will come naturally. David 

Frost.

I love this David Frost quote. I believe it to ring true in almost every aspect of life, from the most seemingly mundane, to the most extraordinary. Recently, it stroked its little wand upon me in a clearer way than usual:

I LOVE figure skating! So I often put massive amounts of pressure on myself to succeed and do well. This last weekend, I competed in a big national competition I’d had my heart set on for quite a long time. I’d poured my blood, sweat and tears into it and had spent a HUGE amount of time and money on all the training, costume and practice. I so wanted to do well.

But during my last week of practice, EVERYTHING seemed to be going wrong!! I couldn’t spin, I fell over at EVERY jump and I couldn’t even finish my programme on time. I felt like bambi on ice. Naturally, I panicked!! What was I going to do? I couldn’t go out there in front of all those people, cameras and judges looking like this! 

Competition time came but I still felt no better. I almost couldn’t bring myself to drive down to the venue in order to do it. Nonetheless, I went on and skated with all the other girls competing in my category during practice. They seemed SO MUCH MORE confident, fit and flexible than I was. And their spins were amazing!!! I felt like a fish out of water and to tell you the truth, I was quite intimidated.

I went back to my hotel for the night and told my mum all about it. I told her that I just didn’t feel ready, for her not to expect anything and that I didn’t think that I was going to do very well.

I woke up the next day feeling quite deflated and my nerves had mostly disappeared. The pressure was off and I was no longer expecting so much of myself. My mum told me that I didn’t have to skate if I didn’t want to.

But after quite a bit of thought, I told her that at the end of the day, this is what I love to do and even if I’m not able to compete at the same level as everyone else, I wanted to share my love for the sport with everyone out there who had come to see me.

I went back to the venue with A SMILE ON MY FACE and a huge amount of love in my heart. No pressure. My mind set had changed. I just felt happy to be there.

My turn to skate came! My programme was a blur but I remember getting off the ice with a HUGE smile on my face. I had loved every minute of it and I felt amazing!!!! I had almost forgotten that I had been competing until the commentator called the result…

 “15.03” and “currently in 2nd place”. 2nd place?? I was shocked! And elated!

My finishing place was 3^rd in my category and 4^th out of all 27 skaters competing.

Putting ourselves under certain pressures in life (particularly when we’re aiming for success) can be so overwhelming that it can be easy to forget what is really important to us in the first place. For me, I’d forgotten the first reason why I’d put myself forward for this competition. I love figure skating. And I love to share that with other people. Taking away the pressure I’d put on myself of doing so well but instead, exuberayting that love I have for the sport and accepting who I am was what allowed me to do so well.

It turned out that most of my marks had come, not from my technical ability, but from the way I had performed and executed my programme. LOVE had won out.

I'm...

(One of my favourite blogs did this exercise and I thought it was pretty cool so I decided to do one too):

I'm weird because...

Sometimes, I like to eat curry for breakfast (especially if it's last nights takeaway!)

I like to keep my toothbrush and other toiletries in the bedroom, not in the bathroom.

(I think I picked up this habit at University where we had a communal bathroom for 16 people and it just wasn't possible or even hygienic to share.)

I hate mess but my bedroom is never tidy...it's an organised mess ;).  

I get up at 04:30am every Friday to hang with lots of "adults" (mostly 20-30 years my senior) at a freezing ice arena. I love "adults". 

I put adults in inverted commas because technically I'm one too. Or so they tell me...

I've decided I'm going to start waking up earlier than I have to every single day...or at least every week day. 

I like to leave the shop labels in my clothes even though I know I'm NOT going to return them. 

I used to pretend I was allergic to ice cream at Primary School because I didn't like it. Now that I like it, I've miraculously recovered from my allergy and I eat it all the time...especially with strawberries yum!

I eat mint sauce with steak even though I know it's supposed to go with lamb. 

I lost one of my two front teeth in an accident earlier this year. I have a denture that I can use whilst waiting for a more permanent replacement but I'd rather not wear it and go around toothless instead. Comfort over beauty...most of the time ;). 

I eat honey with almost everything; my toast, my cereal, my yoghurt, my meat, my vege and with my latest discovery...cheese!

I am a massive hoarder and don't like to throw ANYTHING away! Even last month's "display in your car" day parking tickets. 

I like to check, double-check and sometimes even triple check even though I know I've already checked. 

I like to dance around my bedroom like crazy every night. 

And just before I go to sleep, I like to lay my pillows around my body instead of under my head. 

I'm a bad friend because...

I'm not the best at keeping in touch and I too often lose contact with those I hold dear. 

I wait for my friends to organise a get together rather than organising one myself. 

I sometimes take on my friend's problems as my own and I become sympathetic to the point that I lose sight of the bigger picture. 

I'm a good friend because...

I can offer a listening and understanding ear. 

I'm extremely loyal. 

I want my friends to be happy and successful. 

I'm always up for fun and spontaneity...I love an adventure!

I'm sad because...

My family and parents are split. Neither side will have contact with the other. My brother and I provide the only link. 

My Uncle had a heart attack last year and he is still in a comatose state. My Auntie goes to see him every day in hopes that he'll reach back out to her. But I'm worried that he'll never come back and it makes me sad. 

I know life can be difficult and there are always going to be hard choices to make. 

I think too much and my head can get a little crowded. 

I get bogged down and confused by "my future". I need direction and goals but I also need to learn to live more presently. 

I struggle with 'who I am' and 'what I want'. 

I'm happy because...

I have a fun, challenging and stimulating hobby in ice-skating. It has opened up a whole new world to me. 

I'm always learning and I feel like I've learnt a lot the past two years. 

I have a family...though broken, I still have one. 

I'm excited because...

I'm going to see Hot Ice Show in Blackpool on Friday :D 

(It was amazing, I wrote this last week)

I recently quit my job and I have some work experience lined up in a potential career field I'd like to pursue.

I've hired a Life Coach. 

I'm ready to learn more. 

Life and the unknown...

Thank you for reading. I'm Rachael and I ate last night's curry for breakfast this morning!

Let It Go.

This is what I love about ice skating...the freedom and emotion you feel as you fly about the ice. For me, the music and dance of this piece beyond delivers this sentiment. 

Dreams are..

I dreamt a dream.

A dream, not a story or a nightmare, a dream. 

An immense empty hall.

Lit by candles; held up high and low by enchantment.

The sounds of music echo from wall to wall.

A peaceful music, a reflective beautiful kind of music.

The air feels cold and damp as I glide across the room through layers of floating mists.

It is peaceful, magical and still. 

At one end of the hall, the tall entrance doors are FLUNG open to the elements. 

The howling winds of the winters evening WHIP around the rink. 

The candlelight flickers and dims without going out. 

With each jump, spin and move that I take; I am lifted off the frozen grounds and carried along by the whipping air.
I am flying, flying and dancing. 

This way, 

and that way.

With complete control, elegance and grace. 

The music gets louder and the winds get stronger.

And so with each beat, my heart rises and my feet are grounded for that split second. 

I could do this all night...

And so.. for me, this is what dreams are made of.

Live what you love.

Last week, I went on an ice skating camp! I met lots of new people, learnt lots of new stuff and got several nasty bruises to show for it! 

It was great and I can't wait to get back on the ice more regularly!

Do what you love and life is so much better!

 Its so true... I haven't been able to wipe the smile off my face since!